Buhtt sex?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
