I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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