So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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