you guys were way drunker than both of me
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
