If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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