I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
