And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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