Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
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