break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
