I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
