no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
