that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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