Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
