haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize