We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
