That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
