you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
