Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
