if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
