We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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