So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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