my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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