if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wanna passion pit in your ass
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
