"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
