Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
