her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
