just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
