i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
