these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
