I feel like abortions should bother me more
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
