god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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