She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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