Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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