We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
