you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
