it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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