I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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