k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
