why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
