I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
