Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
