Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
