i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
