I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
