is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
