i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
