:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
