just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
