is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
