69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
