She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
