Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
